Week 21: Ultrasound....And the big ?

Let me just start with this.....

Because of all Braxton's issues, our ultrasounds are done by a doctor who specializes in just pediatric ultrasounds for high risk pregnancies. When I told her I already knew the sex at 14 weeks, she said, "om, if it was a boy, I would not be surprised, but a girl, hmmm, lets just say in all my years of medicine, I have never diagnosed a girl at that stage." So.....With all that said.....

At 14 weeks, I was especially bummed the midwife accidentally blurted out the sex. I really wanted to be surprised, seeing as I already have a boy and a girl.

So, as of right now, I (Kory know the sex) am going to be one of those mom's who wants to be surprised at the birth! However, I am 99% sure its a girl.....I have been right with every one of my kids and this one I can just feel is an Ella....For more than one reason. So, my "its a girl" will stay, because of a mothers instinct I guess.

Let me just say this about the ultrasound.....I HATE THEM......I know its the day in pregnancy that most women look forward too.....But after Braxton, I absolutely hate it. I am frantically paranoid until the day comes. Having a child born with PBS has ruined all the fun.....Because just like I said in this post last year, being in the hospital with Braxton has given us a reality that most will never face. Thankfully, Braxton's issue is totally manageable, but that does not mean we can't be subjected to something else with him or Alexa for that matter. There is SOOOOO much out there.

I realized that no matter how much you pay your tithing, say your prayers, or go to church, God gives you the trials he needs you to have in order to fulfill your life's mission.....Whether you like it or not. And like I have said in the past, through time, I could not be more grateful for the trials he has given us. Its been hard....A child's health issues tops the chart when it comes to reasons for divorce, but in our situation, it made us closer.

With all that said, this ultrasound was just one of the many times I will be worried about this kid, because I have seen what can happen during ultrasounds that changes the dynamics of a families life.

When I told people I was having a girl and was really excited....I kept getting, "well, even if it was a boy, all that matters is that they're healthy." Honestly, that comment makes me cringe because I do not love or treat Braxton any less than another child because he is not healthy. But I was anxious for this day because it could be the start of another future of a child with health issues, which is never easy for a marriage or a family.

Does that mean she is not vulnerable to all the evil medical conditions which can happen later in a child's life, no...Lets be honest....They did not catch Braxton's until AFTER the ultrasound (major mistake on their part) But at least I can cross off spinal bifita. And even though spinal bifita is rare, Kory and I do not care....After having a child with a VERY VERY RARE condition, not to mention losing my brother to a VERY VERY VERY VERY RARE condition, the word rare is not really that rare.....So being able to cross at least one thing off is monumental in our home.

As for the gender. Apparently, the girl prediction could be wrong. 13 weeks is maybe too early to see if its a girl. So as of right now... Kory know the gender and I do not!





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